var things = { "Container": Container, "Person": Person, "Cow": Cow, "Empty Car": EmptyCar, "Car": Car, "Bus": Bus, "Tram": Tram, "Motorcycle": Motorcycle, "House": House, "Barn": Barn, "Small Skyscraper": SmallSkyscraper, "Train": Train, "Train Car": TrainCar, "Parking Garage": ParkingGarage, "Overpass": Overpass, "Town": Town, "City": City, "Continent": Continent, "Planet": Planet, "Star": Star, "Solar System": SolarSystem, "Galaxy": Galaxy }; var areas = { "Container": 0, "Person": 1, "Cow": 2, "Car": 4, "Bus": 12, "Tram": 20, "Motorcycle": 2, "House": 1000, "Barn": 750, "Small Skyscraper": 2500, "Train": 500, "TrainCar": 500, "Parking Garage": 5000, "Overpass": 10000, "Town": 1e7, "City": 1e9, "Continent": 1.5e13, "Planet": 2.5e14, "Star": 3e18, "Solar System": 3e21, "Galaxy": 2e42, }; var masses = { "Container": 0, "Person": 80, "Cow": 300, "Car": 1000, "Bus": 5000, "Tram": 10000, "Motorcycle": 200, "House": 10000, "Barn": 5000, "Small Skyscraper": 10000000, "Train": 5000, "Train Car": 5000, "Parking Garage": 100000, "Overpass": 100000, "Town": 1, "City": 1, "Continent": 1e12, "Planet": 5.972e24, "Star": 1e40, "Solar System": 1, "Galaxy": 1 }; var clusters = { "Container": 0, "Person": 5, "Cow": 15, "Car": 3, "Bus": 1, "Tram": 1, "Motorcycle": 1, "House": 20, "Barn": 1, "Small Skyscraper": 5, "Train": 2, "Train Car": 1, "Parking Garage": 0, "Overpass": 1, "Town": 1, "City": 1, "Continent": 5, "Planet": 1, "Star": 1, "Solar System": 1, "Galaxy": 1 }; // general logic: each step fills in a fraction of the remaining space function fill_area(area, weights) { result = []; candidates = []; for (var key in weights) { if (weights.hasOwnProperty(key)) { candidates.push({"name": key, "area": areas[key], "weight": weights[key]}); } } candidates = candidates.sort(function (x,y) { return x.area - y.area; }); while(candidates.length > 0) { var candidate = candidates.pop(); if (candidate.area > area) continue; var max = Math.floor(area / candidate.area); var limit = Math.min(max, 100); var count = 0; var loopvar = limit; // for small amounts, actually do the randomness // the first few ones get a much better shot while (loopvar > 0) { if (loopvar <= clusters[candidate.name]) count += 1; else count += Math.random() < candidate.weight ? 1 : 0; --loopvar; } if (limit < max) { count += Math.round((max-limit) * candidate.weight); } area -= count * candidate.area; if (count > 0) result.push(new things[candidate.name](count)); } if (result.length > 0) return new Container(result); else return new Container([new Person(1)]); } // describes everything in the container function describe_all(contents,verbose=true,except=[]) { var things = []; for (var key in contents) { if (contents.hasOwnProperty(key) && !except.includes(key)) { things.push(contents[key].describe(verbose)); } } return merge_things(things); } function random_desc(list, odds=1) { if (Math.random() < odds) return list[Math.floor(Math.random() * list.length)]; else return ""; } // combine strings into a list with proper grammar function merge_things(list,semicolons=false) { if (list.length == 0) { return ""; } else if (list.length == 1) { return list[0]; } else if (list.length == 2) { return list[0] + " and " + list[1]; } else { result = ""; list.slice(0,list.length-1).forEach(function(term) { result += term + ", "; }) result += "and " + list[list.length-1] return result; } } // combine the adjectives for something into a single string function merge_desc(list) { result = "" list.forEach(function(term) { if (term != "") result += term + " "; }); // knock off the last space if (result.length > 0) { result = result.substring(0, result.length - 1); } return result; } // maybe make this something that approximates a // normal distribution; doing this 15,000,000 times is bad... // solution: only a few are random lul // improvement: take up to 100 samples, then use that to scale the final result function distribution(min, max, samples) { var result = 0; var limit = Math.min(100,samples) if (limit < samples) { for (var i = 0; i < limit; i++) { result += (i/10 + 1) * Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min + 1) + min); } result = Math.round((result / 595) * samples * (max - min) + min); } else { for (var i = 0; i < limit; i++) { result += Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min + 1) + min); } } return result; } function defaultArea(thing) { return areas[thing.name]; } function defaultMass(thing) { return masses[thing.name]; } function defaultMerge(thing) { return function(container) { var newCount = this.count + container.count; var newThing = new things[thing.name](newCount); newThing.contents = {}; for (var key in this.contents) { if (this.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { newThing.contents[key] = this.contents[key]; } } for (var key in container.contents) { if (container.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { if (this.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { newThing.contents[key] = this.contents[key].merge(container.contents[key]); } else { newThing.contents[key] = container.contents[key]; } } } return newThing; } } function defaultSum(thing) { return function() { var counts = {} if (thing.name != "Container") counts[thing.name] = thing.count; for (var key in thing.contents) { if (thing.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { subcount = thing.contents[key].sum(); for (var subkey in subcount) { if (!counts.hasOwnProperty(subkey)) { counts[subkey] = 0; } counts[subkey] += subcount[subkey]; } } } return counts; } } function defaultSumProperty(thing) { return function(prop) { var total = 0; total += thing[prop] * thing.count; for (var key in thing.contents) { if (thing.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { total += thing.contents[key].sum_property(prop); } } return total; } } function defaultAddContent(thing) { return function(name, min, max, count) { if (min == max) { var object = new things[name](min*count); thing.contents[object.name] = object; } else { var object = new things[name](distribution(min, max, count)); thing.contents[object.name] = object; } } } function DefaultEntity() { this.sum = defaultSum; this.area = defaultArea; this.mass = defaultMass; this.sum_property = defaultSumProperty; this.merge = defaultMerge; this.addContent = defaultAddContent; return this; } // god I love reinventing the wheel function copy_defaults(self,proto) { for (var key in proto) { if (proto.hasOwnProperty(key)) { self[key] = proto[key](self) } } } function Container(contents = []) { this.name = "Container"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = 0; this.contents = {} for (var i=0; i < contents.length; i++) { this.contents[contents[i].name] = contents[i]; } for (var key in this.contents) { if (this.contents.hasOwnProperty(key)) { this.count += this.contents[key].count; } } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { return describe_all(this.contents,verbose) } this.eat = function(verbose=true) { var line = containerEat(this,verbose); if (line == "") return defaultEat(this)(verbose); else return line; }; return this; } function Person(count = 1) { this.name = "Person"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.describeOne = function (verbose=true) { body = random_desc(["skinny","fat","tall","short","stocky","spindly"], (verbose ? 0.6 : 0)); sex = random_desc(["male", "female"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); species = random_desc(["wolf","cat","dog","squirrel","horse","hyena","fox","jackal","crux","sergal"]); return "a " + merge_desc([body,sex,species]); } this.describe = function(verbose=true) { if (verbose) { if (count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count <= 2)); } return merge_things(list); } else { return this.count + " people" } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " people" : "a person"); } } this.stomp = function(verbose=true) { var line = personStomp(this); if (line == "") return defaultStomp(this)(verbose); else return line; }; this.eat = function(verbose=true) { var line = personEat(this); if (line == "") return defaultEat(this)(verbose); else return line; }; return this; } function Cow(count = 1) { this.name = "Cow"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.describeOne = function (verbose=true) { body = random_desc(["skinny","fat","tall","short","stocky","spindly"], (verbose ? 0.6 : 0)); sex = random_desc(["male", "female"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); return "a " + merge_desc([body,sex,"cow"]); } this.describe = function(verbose=true) { if (verbose) { if (count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count <= 2)); } return merge_things(list); } else { return this.count + " cattle" } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " cattle" : "a cow"); } } return this; } function EmptyCar(count = 1) { this.name = "Car"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { color = random_desc(["black","black","gray","gray","blue","red","tan","white","white"]); adjective = random_desc(["rusty","brand-new"],0.3); type = random_desc(["SUV","coupe","sedan","truck","van","convertible"]); return "a parked " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne()); } return merge_things(list); } else { return this.count + " parked cars"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " parked cars" : "a parked car"); } } } function Car(count = 1) { this.name = "Car"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person", 2, 5, count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { color = random_desc(["black","black","gray","gray","blue","red","tan","white","white"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); adjective = random_desc(["rusty","brand-new"], (verbose ? 0.3 : 0)); type = random_desc(["SUV","coupe","sedan","truck","van","convertible"]); return "a " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " cars with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " cars" : "a car"); } } } function Bus(count = 1) { this.name = "Bus"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",10,35,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { adjective = random_desc(["rusty","brand-new"], (verbose ? 0.3 : 0)); color = random_desc(["black","tan","gray"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); type = random_desc(["bus","double-decker bus","articulating bus"]); return "a " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " buses with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " buses" : "a bus"); } } } function Tram(count = 1) { this.name = "Tram"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",40,60,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { adjective = random_desc(["rusty","weathered"], (verbose ? 0.3 : 0)); color = random_desc(["blue","brown","gray"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); type = random_desc(["tram"]); return "a " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count == 1) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(verbose)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " trams with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " trams" : "a tram"); } } this.anal_vore = function() { return "You slide " + this.describe() + " up your tight ass"; } } function Motorcycle(count = 1) { this.name = "Motorcycle"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",1,2,count); } function Train(count = 1) { this.name = "Train"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person", 1, 4, count); this.addContent("Train Car", 2, 10, count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { adjective = random_desc(["rusty","brand-new"], (verbose ? 0.3 : 0)); color = random_desc(["black","tan","gray"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); type = random_desc(["train","passenger train","freight train"]); return "a " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count == 1) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(verbose)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + this.contents["Person"].describe(false) + " in the engine and " + this.contents["Train Car"].describe() + " attached"; } else { return this.count + " trains with " + this.contents["Person"].describe(false) + " in the engine and " + this.contents["Train Car"].describe() + " attached"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " trains" : "a train"); } } this.anal_vore = function() { var cars = (this.contents["Train Car"].count == 1 ? this.contents["Train Car"].describe() + " follows it inside" : this.contents["Train Car"].describe() + " are pulled slowly inside"); return "You snatch up " + this.describeOne() + " and stuff it into your pucker, moaning as " + cars; } } function TrainCar(count = 1) { this.name = "Train Car"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",10,40,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { adjective = random_desc(["rusty","brand-new"], (verbose ? 0.3 : 0)); color = random_desc(["black","tan","gray"], (verbose ? 1 : 0)); type = random_desc(["train car","passenger train car","freight train car"]); return "a " + merge_desc([adjective,color,type]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " train cars with " + describe_all(this.contents) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " train cars" : "a train car"); } } } function House(count = 1) { this.name = "House"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",0,8,count); this.addContent("Empty Car",0,2,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { size = random_desc(["little","two-story","large"], (verbose ? 0.5 : 0)); color = random_desc(["blue","white","gray","tan","green"], (verbose ? 0.5 : 0)); name = random_desc(["house","house","house","house","house","trailer"], 1); return "a " + merge_desc([size,color,name]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " homes with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " houses" : "a house"); } } } function Barn(count = 1) { this.name = "Barn"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",0,2,count); this.addContent("Cow",30,70,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { size = random_desc(["little","big","large"], (verbose ? 0.5 : 0)); color = random_desc(["blue","white","gray","tan","green"], (verbose ? 0.5 : 0)); name = random_desc(["barn","barn","barn","barn","barn","farmhouse"], 1); return "a " + merge_desc([size,color,name]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " barns with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " barns" : "a barn"); } } } function SmallSkyscraper(count = 1) { this.name = "Small Skyscraper"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",50,500,count); this.addContent("Empty Car",10,50,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { color = random_desc(["blue","white","gray","tan","green"], (verbose ? 0.5 : 0)); name = random_desc(["skyscraper","office tower","office building"], 1); return "a " + merge_desc([color,name]); } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { if (this.count <= 3) { list = []; for (var i = 0; i < this.count; i++) { list.push(this.describeOne(this.count < 2)); } return merge_things(list) + " with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } else { return this.count + " small skyscrapers with " + describe_all(this.contents,verbose) + " inside"; } } else { return (this.count > 1 ? this.count + " skyscrapers" : "a skyscraper"); } } this.anal_vore = function(verbose=true,height=10) { var line = skyscraperAnalVore(this,verbose,height); if (line == "") return defaultAnalVore(this)(verbose); else return line; }; } function ParkingGarage(count = 1) { this.name = "Parking Garage"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",10,200,count); this.addContent("Empty Car",30,100,count); this.addContent("Car",5,30,count); this.describeOne = function(verbose=true) { return "a parking garage"; } this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a parking garage" : this.count + " parking garages") + " with " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose) + " inside"; } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a parking garage" : this.count + " parking garages"); } } } function Overpass(count = 1) { this.name = "Overpass"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",0,20,count); this.addContent("Car",25,100,count); } function Town(count = 1) { this.name = "Town"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",1000,15000,count); this.addContent("House",500,10000,count); this.addContent("Empty Car",250,3750,count); this.addContent("Car",250,3750,count); this.addContent("Train",5,10,count); this.addContent("Small Skyscraper",2,10,count); this.addContent("Parking Garage",1,5,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a town" : this.count + " towns") + " with " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose) + " in " + (this.count == 1 ? "it" : "them"); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a town" : this.count + " towns"); } } } function City(count = 1) { this.name = "City"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",10000,150000,count); this.addContent("House",5000,100000,count); this.addContent("Empty Car",2500,37500,count); this.addContent("Car",2500,37500,count); this.addContent("Train",50,100,count); this.addContent("Tram",100,300,count); this.addContent("Small Skyscraper",20,100,count); this.addContent("Parking Garage",10,50,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a city" : this.count + " cities") + " with " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose) + " in " + (this.count == 1 ? "it" : "them"); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a city" : this.count + " cities"); } } } function Continent(count = 1) { this.name = "Continent"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Person",100000,1500000,count); this.addContent("House",5000,100000,count); this.addContent("Car",25000,375000,count); this.addContent("Train",500,1000,count); this.addContent("Town",2000,5000,count); this.addContent("City",200,500,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a continent" : this.count + " continents") + " with " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose) + " on " + (this.count == 1 ? "it" : "them"); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a continent" : this.count + " continents"); } } } function Planet(count = 1) { this.name = "Planet"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Continent",4,9,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a planet" : this.count + " planets") + " with " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose) + " on " + (this.count == 1 ? "it" : "them"); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a planet" : this.count + " planets"); } } } function Star(count = 1) { this.name = "Star"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.describe = function(verbose = true) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a star" : this.count + " stars"); } } function SolarSystem(count = 1) { this.name = "Solar System"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Star",1,1,count); this.addContent("Planet",5,15,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a solar system" : this.count + " solar systems") + " made up of " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a solar system" : this.count + " solar systems"); } } } function Galaxy(count = 1) { this.name = "Galaxy"; copy_defaults(this,new DefaultEntity()); this.count = count; this.contents = {}; this.addContent("Star",1e9,500e9,count); this.addContent("Solar System",1e8,500e8,count); this.describe = function(verbose = true) { if (verbose) { return (this.count == 1 ? "a galaxy" : this.count + " galaxies") + " made up of " + describe_all(this.contents, verbose); } else { return (this.count == 1 ? "a galaxy" : this.count + " galaxies"); } } }